Skip to main content

Good Communication Takes Practice

This is one of my favorite pictures of Arya- -my sweet granddaughter. In the past few months she has started "talking". It is fun watching her trying so hard to mimic the mouth movements. I like to watch her when I repeat LaLaLa. She tries really hard to move her tongue. She gets the biggest smile on her face when she thinks she's conquered it. 

Most recently she has started to giggle. It is the sweetest sound I have heard.  Pure joy to my ears and hers, she seems so proud of herself.

So what happens between learning how to mimic mouth movements, to making sound, to learning how to talk, to actually talking and communicating.  You would think that by the times we are adults we should have mastered the art of communicating.

In fact just this morning Matt and I had a disagreement that had everything to do with miscommunication. I had woke up about 30 minutes prior to him waking up. I was laying in bed reading the news when he got up, left the bed without saying anything and went and took a shower.  I immediately thought awesome, he's in a bad mood and I get to deal with it today.  NOTHING was said. but that was the problem nothing was said.  He could have said good morning, or what is the plan for the day.  ANYTHING would have been better then saying NOTHING.  After he got out of the shower and dressed I ask him what his problem was this morning and what was he so ornery.  He looked at me and said what on earth are you talking about. I haven't said anything this morning.  Thus the discussion started.  Well come to find out he had a miserable nights sleep and needed to get into work this morning to catch up on his counseling with one of his kids at JCC.  He was in extreme pain and knew that if he got in the hot shower he could relax his leg enough to relieve some pain until his pills kicked in.  I took his lack of talking as; "just leave me alone this morning, I am not awake and don't want to be bothered."  Matt is not what one would call a great morning person. We were able to discuss the misunderstanding and move on with our day.

Earlier in our marriage this actually would have cause us to fight, me insisting that he was mad, him insisting that he wasn't mad. Being able to talk to each other and find out what a "problem" might be has taken time and a lot of practice. One of the things that I have learned that really helps me not misunderstand a situation is to actually say: "help me understand what your saying, or help me understand what is going on." Pretty simple words that clear up a lot of confusion and frustration. 



 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

  MC Date Night These past few weeks we have learned some very important things for us to keep moving forward with MC Date Night. The first and main thing that was learned is how important it is to communicate effectively between departments. The ticket office has been selling tickets only to people on actual dates and turning away others if they were not on dates.   This was never the intention of the $6 date price.   It was the intention to encourage dating, but not to turn people away. The second thing that was learned this week is the importance of having everyone feel like they can attend the event.   While we want to keep the name MC Date Night, we are going to need to do a better job at marketing what MC Date Night includes, and it not just for people on dates, but an event where students can come and connect with each other as well as an inexpensive place to have a date night. The past date night on March 13 th we added a singles “lounge”.   Tab...
Post a Comment
Read more
  FAML 160 Are we more then what society tells us we are? As I was watching each of the People Like Us video clips https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nU5MtVM_zFs&list=PLC6D871A2A8C3C8EF I was astonished how people viewed themselves and how I was classifying them. I was appalled at the social elite and their arrogance, the belles and the shallowness of what they are, but I was equally appalled by Tammy Crabtree and her story. Tammy Crabtree and her family really got to me.   I have always believed it’s our choice rather we are successful or not. We all have challenges to overcome and our drive and determination influence if we are successful. After watching Tammy’s story, I am not so sure if I really believe that about all people.   I do not think that Tammy has the slightest idea where to start or how to start to change her life. Tammy kept saying she wanted to do better for her family.   The second episode she was at least was living in a home closer to he...
Post a Comment
Read more
Was the Best Choice Made?   This week’s topic so interesting. A couple of things stood out in my mind.  The first was a study done by Waite and Gallagher (2000) stated that many marriages ended that could have turned out to be satisfying within five years if they would have continued to work through their problems. Have we made divorce too easy and too common? Another interesting stat is that the tolerance of divorce has increased since the 1950s. Is that because more and more of us are affected by divorce and we can see and understand the need for it? In our world today The Family A proclamation to the world written in 1995 and given at a worldwide general relief society meeting for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has more meaning then every before and will continue to be a standard which the world can look for guidance on keeping a strong marriage and family. “ We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures d...
Post a Comment
Read more