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Are we more then what society tells us we are?

As I was watching each of the People Like Us video clips https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nU5MtVM_zFs&list=PLC6D871A2A8C3C8EF I was astonished how people viewed themselves and how I was classifying them. I was appalled at the social elite and their arrogance, the belles and the shallowness of what they are, but I was equally appalled by Tammy Crabtree and her story.

Tammy Crabtree and her family really got to me.  I have always believed it’s our choice rather we are successful or not. We all have challenges to overcome and our drive and determination influence if we are successful.

After watching Tammy’s story, I am not so sure if I really believe that about all people.  I do not think that Tammy has the slightest idea where to start or how to start to change her life. Tammy kept saying she wanted to do better for her family.  The second episode she was at least was living in a home closer to her job, not in a singlewide trailer without a furnace and trash stacked up in the yard. In my mind she was doing better then she was 13 years previous, however she still didn’t have a start on her dream of going to college. As I was watching the video, I kept asking myself who can help her see what else she can do with her life, why is she accepting working at Burger King for minimum wage? What is in her life that has made it comfortable for her to live like she is living? I think she wants more, as do her children, but lack they knowledge on how to really achieve those dreams.  And maybe she is scared that she’s not going to succeed so its better to keep her dreams just that dreams, then she doesn’t have to face actual failure.

This got me thinking about somethings in my family cultural that I think are important to perpetuate to my children and grandchildren. A work ethic, with drive and determination.  Life is going to be difficult at times.  All things won’t workout in your favor, but what are you going to do about it.  School is difficult for some of my children, but that doesn’t mean that you stop trying. Figure out a way to make it happen. You might not have your dream job right away, and that is fine, but until you have your dream job what are you going to do to make that happen.  I hope that I have instilled in them that God has a purpose for them, and it is not spending the rest of their lives being mediocre. I don’t want for anyone to think that I equate money with success, that is not the case at all. But being all you can be and working to your potential is what I want for my family.

Equating money with success and happiness is something that I grew up being taught and thinking.  In fact, a common phrase in our home was the boy with the most toys when he dies wins. That is a messed-up way to raise kids.  It basically suggests that the only thing that is important is money and stuff.  Family, individuals, and relationships come second, if that. This thinking still creeps into my mind when I don’t feel that I am “enough”.  I have to remind myself that I know what I am doing in my life is making a difference to students and their lives. I am helping them become their best selves. 

Thirty-two years of marriage, three children and one granddaughter later my husband Matt and I have created a strong family. A family that helps and supports each other, a family that encourages each other. We are not a perfect family and we still have years ahead of us with ups and downs, but one thing that I do know is that Matt and I have built a strong foundation and our family is moving in the right direction.

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