Was the Best Choice Made?

 

This week’s topic so interesting. A couple of things stood out in my mind.  The first was a study done by Waite and Gallagher (2000) stated that many marriages ended that could have turned out to be satisfying within five years if they would have continued to work through their problems. Have we made divorce too easy and too common? Another interesting stat is that the tolerance of divorce has increased since the 1950s. Is that because more and more of us are affected by divorce and we can see and understand the need for it?

In our world today The Family A proclamation to the world written in 1995 and given at a worldwide general relief society meeting for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has more meaning then every before and will continue to be a standard which the world can look for guidance on keeping a strong marriage and family. “We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.”

As a 53-year-old woman I know the stress and anxiety that was caused in my life by an unstable home.  I see the effects that it has had on my siblings, each one has delt with the stress in different ways.  Some better than others. It’s been 35 years since I move out of my parents’ home and I still feel the effects, however they are diminishing as I have learned better coping strategies when the triggers pop up. So, would it have been better for my parents to divorce, or stay together? What would have caused less harm to our family, my parents staying together as they did or getting a divorce as they threaten to do many times? As a grown woman with a family of my own I can see the progress that my parents have made to mend their marriage. Unfortunately, there is still a lot of damage that needs to be repaired with the relationships that my parents have with some of their children.  This is a direct result of the contentions, stress and abuse that went on in our home. 

This week in class as caused me to think a lot about what would have been best for my family that I grew up in.  While we as children and siblings have many issues that we continue to deal with, we are fortunate that we do not have to deal with stepfamilies and they the issues that are brought with them. My parents did not handle marriage well, I can just imagine what the stress they would have brought to a broken family. My parents have 17 grandchildren, their grandchildren don’t have to experience the stress and turmoil of what my siblings and I grew up with, they get to see experience grandparents who love them.

So maybe my parents staying together, and their children living through trauma has benefits for the next generations. What I do know is that The Family, A Proclamation to the World would have been the best way for my parents to raise their children. 

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/bc/content/shared/content/images/gospel-library/manual/02160/family-proclamation-to-world_576522_prt.pdf